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How'd the Smallest Penis Contest go....?

On Friday April 29th 2016, I hosted a "Smallest Penis Contest" at Subversion, the fantastic London BDSM/fetish nightclub event. Mistress Absolute was kind enough to let Me have it there and overall I am pretty damn pleased with how it went!

I have NO pictures of the event (for obvious reasons the club does not allow outside photography of others besides Bobette, the club's official photographer. This is for the safety of those in the club who do not wish to appear in pics of others or posted places they do not pre-approve etc) so let Me just tell you how it went, lol.

Earlier in the night I gave a workshop on Financial Domination. Lady Andromeda UK came to the club that night to attend and I thrilled to meet her! she came up to me and said "Your Findom is legend!" I gotta say, it made My day. The workshop went pretty well and had maybe 15-20 attendees total. I was very happy for this, because Findom is typically reviled in the BDSM community at large and is considered fringe play/niche fetish. I had no idea if ANYONE would attend, even though it was open to anyone who came to the club that night. and it started quite early (well early considering this is a Friday night BDSM club in London lol). I had an whole presentation worked up and talking points. When I started I asked if anyone there (besides Andromeda and Wildfire, who I both already knew) was already a Findom or trying to get into financial domination. once I found out that a good deal of the attendees were Ladies considering trying it, i sort of changed my talk. I wanted to give those Ladies some advice and hopefully help them out some as well as any already active Findoms, and chose to speak more on things that I hoped might benefit THEM versus a general talk on Findom for the "non-believers" and fin-muggles lol. It was a great experience and i am pleased that many people would take the time on a Friday night to hear a lecture! lol About 30 minutes after the room emptied of the FinDomming crowd, it was on to the next item at hand.

So finally on to the dick contest... I know all you frooty pervs are salivating to hear about dicks that look like your own lol. A fair amount of people came for this one too. Only 4 men entered the contest itself, but another approx 20-25 people came to watch! Most of the observers were females, though there were a few more males in attendance than I expected. Before the contest, Mistress Wildfire, Master Silk ( a house Dom at club subversion and one of My dearest friends and one of the few male Doms who I respect lol and believe really IS a Dom lol ) and I had discussed whether any males would be allowed to attend to watch, only females and the males would be restricted to ENTERING the contest. However, the contest was rather informal and had kind of a more the merrier vibe going on. Considering it was about humiliation, i decided to not bother with kicking the few male attendees/observers out. It was not a large enough crowd to warrant it, and didn't seem to detract from the contest at large.

Before the contest, I had seen a gent peeking into the medical room over and over-since before the Findom workshop actually, lol. I KNEW what he was there for, it was so obvious. So I asked him and he said, "no" but later on of COURSE had to admit that was why he was there, lol. Normal looking tall white guy with a bald head. So that was 1st of four contestants. the second was another white guy, a sissy crossdresser. Like all of the entrants he had a pretty good sense of humor about himself. 3rd entrant was a sub visiting from India who came that night just for the contest. he came up to Me before the contest and asked to kiss My boots. I said no until I heard he came just to enter the contest, then I was like,, in that Mistress Wildfire was also kind enough to let him kiss her shoes as well This boot kisser wore a fabric hood over his head during the contest to disguise himself. It was no shit JUST like the elephant man cloth hood from the movie but in black. The 4th entrant was a very small fella maybe like 5'6", wussy shy seeming as fuck. BUT WITH A MASSIVE dick. lol. I was like wtf, why are you even Funny note, before the contest the tall bald white guy was stretching like runners do before a run, lolol. He said was because his legs were cramping, but I just think it was because as a little dick he wanted to prepare for the one way in life for his subpar dick to be useful! A little dick competition, where the winner and loser are the same thing!!!

All 4 boys lined up, and had been given robes to cover themselves with until judging time. i had all 4 stand in a line and reveal themselves. I gave each their own ruler for measuring purposes and had THEM hold it. I didn't want to have to touch their nasty clits my damm self, so yes, they had to hold their own rulers, lol. The Cd sub had 2.5 inches, elephant man mask had 2 1/4 inches and tall bald had 2 inches even. And the 4th guy had a big ole dong so I didn't even HAVE him measure, lol. I gave each of them a little shit about the uselessness of their dicks and all the ladies laughed. each of those entrants can feel good about the fact they gave a roomful of Ladies some true laughs and fun. it is ALL their dicks are good for, and FINALLY found a way for Ladies to get off on them-even if the definition of "getting off" here is simply a good bellylaugh, lol.

After the measuring and a little fun banter, Mistress Wildfire and I awarded prizes: the winner got to have 30 minutes worshipping Mistress Wildfire's feet. 2nd place received a 30 minute Skype session from yours truly. 3rd place received a penis pump. and the guy with the big dick got the prize of knowing he didn't have a fucking nub of a cocklet like the other 3, lol. All in all it was a great time, gonna do it again sometime...


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