on men and money...
for Me financial domination all kind of started as a PE (power exchange) thing. I was still in vanilla relationships but I was always the dominant partner, the one who wore the pants so to speak and My boyfriends at the time were of course cool with that because they saw the value in what I contribute. These are smart, independent men we are talking about here, yet they STILL knew that it was best to let Me run things or delegate the responsibilities. I would of course take their paychecks and divvy out the money or spend it in the ways I saw fit. TOTAL control move, lol. I was very "Dommy" about a lot of things and had very fetishy interests as well, without ever realizing that any of it was BDSM related or things other people were massively into. I thought it was just ME really. I knew nothing about BDSM really except small things I saw in the media or maybe the outfits people wear in BDSM but not the activities. I had just never payed attention, so it was not really on my radar as a "scene." And of course became I very accustomed (read: spoiled) to being the one with all the money power in the relationship etc. And NOW, looking back, I realize how FEMDOM some of my fantasies and ways of living have been, but I didn't know there was a WORD for any of it or that it was things others did. In retrospect it is easy to see what I have always been.
And of course money IS power. It is literally the power to DO. Lets say a submissive wanted to buy a video game that cost 50 dollars. But instead he gave ME that money, it would affect his life DAILY! When his friends all logged in to play it, he would not be able to participate...all the way up til his next paycheck perhaps! This is a TRUE sacrifice. he gave up something and it had a real effect on his life. if the traditional view of BDSM is that the masochist might love the feel of his or her bruises and possibly wear them as marks of pride, then money bruise is no different. He can feel that every time he sees a commercial for that video game for instance etc. And by taking that power from himself, the power to DO things and to HAVE things and giving it to ME, now I have that same power, the power to have or do.
Also to Me, findom is my biological right. Humans have come from hunting and gathering beginnings, and over time the female of the species has learned that for the safety of her offspring she needs security of her basic needs. Men are wired a little differently. They're not designed to chase certain types of physical or "material" security, they're designed to chase women and spread their seed. They acquire status and material power because it gives them options as far as females. Now things are a little different nowadays of course but those basics remain. The females generally speaking are interested in security and being able to make sure they can provide for themselves and the men are still of course trying to get in womens' pants.
THE WOMEN have LEVERAGE. Ultimately we can get our own security and money. without men. They cant get the P without US. Women WIN.
I see findom as being at the intersection of femdom and TPE. And findom is really mostly a lifestyle thing for me. I am REALLY into it in my most personal relationships and like to keep the power of how things go in my hands so to speak.
And bdsm is what I do all day really, because it IS my work (I am also a working sessions Domme, both online and real time, Pro-Humiliatrix as well) but also it's what I enjoy doing. BDSM (incl. PE/Findom/femdom) is my hobby, my sexual proclivity, my lifestyle and my profession, so any sub getting involved with Me even on a casual level will get to be part of the BDSM fun, cause that's what I enjoy and am doing anyways, so I KNOW what I am contributing to HIS life. I'm contributing his whole fucking lifelong fantasy of being sub to a real Domme who loves this shit. So now what does he bring to MINE? I have NO shortage of men who would love to serve Me. If a woman posted online, "feel like humiliating someone right now (FREE)" her inbox would light up with NO shortage of volunteers!
So as far as men contacting Me trying to get me to serve up their fantasy for them-there's plenty of them,much less of ME. I have the value here as far as I am concerned. Now do NOT get me wrong, I highly value my subs, but I am talking the throngs of horny strangers here, not men working hard to serve me. I CARE about MY boys because they're a part of my life; they're on my team. But like I said, them getting to be in my life ensures some level of bdsm fun for them, so HOW do I weed out who is fit to serve versus just a horndog with ZERO interest in giving up anything for Me?.. By who wants it MOST. That is one of the ways. If you see how ANGRY it makes men to have to DREAM of women not satisfying them for FREE, then it is clear money is something most do NOT want to give up. THIS is another reason it is a TRUE sacrifice, the financial tribute, because it is something most people simply do not want to come off of.
So yes, I LOVE taking men's money, because I think they should contribute to my life. BUt I know what it means and that they lost something to give it to me. That's meaningful.
And hell, it is like a DREAM getting to be in this life with my subs. Even the sort of "drive by" subs who just want a casual domination session (as opposed to more of a D/s relationship dynamic), they APPRECIATE what I am. I might not have the deepest relationships with some of them, but generally always talk to them some first to find out something about them as a person, to see if even for a short time we might have SOME type of connection. Enough of one to play. Because hell, I LOVE bdsm and honestly do not want to engage in it with those I don't like or click with. Not even for money! as much as I see the value in money for power exchange and obviously in day to day life, it ain't everything! The relationship and connection between Me and another person is what it's really about to Me in the long run.
(***this writing is taken from a private letter to a friend where I was explaining some of my views on men.)