Dear Mixtrix, WHERE do I find finsubs...?
Where does a Findomme find finsubs? This is something I get asked like, daily. WHERE do I find them. HOW do I meet them? and so on. It is understandable for new Dommes to want this information. I personally find that just doing it and using common sense and your knowledge of people in general will be good starting cues as to find, meet, engage, and KEEP the boys you want to engage.
So I thought I might post some of my thoughts on the subject here. This is (yet again) a response I posted elsewhere first. But since I do not often write blogs, but write blog-sized comments and responses to many questions quite regularly, I thought it might be a good idea to start posting some of those ideas and responses here. So here goes a little thought on the subject:
The way i see it, they are technically anywhere men are, particularly submissive ones. So wherever subs accumulate. Now that being said, it tends to backfire to write random men asking if they want to serve. Most simply DO NOT and it can get a girl trolled to do so, truth be known.
Now of course anywhere findom specific such as say, groups on fetlife or findoms.com (takes some effort to become a site member Domme, which is a GOOD thing and keeps the halfasses out) geared towards such, can be a great place to meet boys.
But here is what all findommes need to consider: they are but one in a bazillion findommes in the world, especially online. So WHY would a boy pay HER versus any other Domme, when he has a veritable buffet of them to choose to serve? These are the things to consider when looking for subs.
Does the domme just say the same old tired shit others do? (you are a pig; I like tributes; pay Me; and so on and on-they have heard it ALL before from a billion Dommes).
Another obvious reality to consider is, that most boys simply cannot afford to pay every Domme who asks and they want to save their money for someone who really intrigues or appeals to them for whatever reason (different for EVERY boy). This SHOULD be obvious, yet many new dommes think they can walk up to any boy who has an interest in findom and say "gimme" and he will. or CAN. The odds of THAT happening are not great if you have the logic to think on it for a moment.
So in reality most boys are going to come to YOU, not the other way around. they will come find YOU. now all of that might sound discouraging, but DONT be discouraged. it is just the reality of the situation. so whatever you do as a findom to some degree will need to skirt that reality. if there are a bazillion
Dommes asking for money, HOW will you stand out? By working your content accordingly. Think of where you need to be and what you need to do to stand out from the crowd! The boys are ACTIVELY looking for the Domme of their dreams! LITERALLY searching between Dommes looking for HER. how will he find YOU? How will he even know your or I or her or her or her exist and are worthy of being served (apart from the having a vagina aspect of things lol)?
BE YOURSELF-it is the ONLY way to stand out! Use what you have, your talents and interests and more! And work hard to be seen so they KNOW you exist. there are SO MANY Dommes that most boys will never even know we each exist and that is the truth. But it does not have to be... A smart Domme will find a way to get their attention and draw them in!
Use your knowledge of men and their minds to entice. Use your skills in domination and control to make it a true power exchange. Learn their wants and needs and decide if this is someone you can connect with. It is WORTH doing your research and sharpening your game always.
There are WAY too many resources out there for the smart lady with street smarts and common sense to be lost, findom-wise. If this is something you really love, you wont give up no matter what, and will stay in the game. odds are better for those who DO.
best of luck, you got this!