I am ALWAYS getting asked LOTS of advice from Dommes. I am also someone who enjoys chit-chatting about FinDom and FemDom and philosophizing on all My fave kinks. So i have a LOT of conversations with other Dommes and subs and thought I might print part of a conversation with a FinDom who was asking Me some questions (this is NOT an okay to write me with random questions, lol) I TRULY believe that if you have it in you, you will prolly figure out the findomming on your own to some degree. By the way, isn't it funny NO one is asking Me about FEMDOM, they all ask about FINDOM. It is sort of a "true nature" thing. Do you have it in you, natural findom ability? then you probably don't need ME, you can do this all on your own! But since I do enjoy discussing these things, and know there might be those who enjoy reading this, here you go:
(During our conversation she asked:)
How did you acquire your first subs? I thought I would draw them in by explaining and promoting fetishes while taking on the persona of a confident, mature findom. I had planned on still treating them based upon what they desire, not just a wallet. I know this is a process, and I did not expect to be instantly successful but, when I got a twitter, I saw many (I assume newer) women promoting themselves by their bodies and offering to send nude pics. Is that the ideal way now? I guess, I just researched financial domination as more of a mischievous art form and a way for others to explore their sexuality, not just about the money or how big one's ass is.
Also, when a sub first contacts you, through direct message on twitter, kik, etc. how do you greet them? Do you instantly inform them of the "no pay no play" concept, talk to them as human beings first, or some other way?
(and here is My response:)
well, to some degree I met boys right away. Some wanted to pay for session type play and some wanted to kind of get to know me. I honestly kind of just went with the flow and vibed it out as I went along, using what I know about human nature tempered with some common sense on what I can and cant get away with. a lot of it is like, my knowledge of men and how they act and what a woman can get away with and what she cant and with what kind of guys etc. If you have that skill in REAL LIFE it is valuable, and that is the easiest place to develop it, esp if you have a lot of experience with how men respond to erotic things and are not shy about things like that. So having that mindset I was able to kind of vibe it out depending on the boy (still do tbh)
I honestly treat it all on a case by case basis. i have no one set way of doing things. It is more based on how THEY act about things. It is probably a manipulative way to go about it because I see what they're like and then know how to fuck with them. At the same time, I kind of know who I do and don't want to deal with because of how they talk to me. Or the kinds of things they say to me might make me want to go right to money or might make we want to talk. Totally depends. i sort of play it by ear. It is like, you can lead a horse to water but cant make him drink. you gotta know how to gauge which are drinking horses and when to say fuck it and not pursue it. that comes easier with time.
So some I go to pay me right away, some I don't, I totally play it by ear.
I don't think nudity and shit is the way Id go with it unless I was just super into posing nude in the 1st place. I mean the point is, be yourself. If you normally wouldnt show pics like that, why start for findom? And this also applies to like hypersexual or revealing pics, not just straight up nudity. But in MY case,it is more of a "why the FUCK would I let them see it" type thing? they gotta work for it to some degree. It isn't for everyone to get to see in my opinion. I am special, they gotta be special to get that close that I would let them see things like that of me. That is how I fel about real life men, so why would internet dudes be different? But then again, teasing with your body is a valuable tool-men ARE visual creatures. So might be worth it to tease with it some. BUT I would not do nude or like sexy body pics unless thats just your thing anyways.. never pays off to do things you see others doing but wouldn't like to do yourself. So be true to yourself as far as pics and dont show anything you feel weird about, it is NOT necessary.
if you look at other Domme stuff too long you will start to doubt yourself-DONT. Half of it is illusion. who KNOWS how successful any of these ladies really are. hell half the amazon package pics we see could just be shit they bought themselves with their OWN money from a job. or stuff grandma sent for Christmas.So be inspired by other Dommes, but don't let it make you feel like you're not enough or like falling behind. it has potential to do that to all of us.So ALWAYS keep your focus on THE boys, not the Dommes! Focus on what the boys do and respond to, not what the Dommes are putting out. They are 2 different things!
And always do YOU. It pays off because it is an easier sell. find the ways of doing this that make YOU feel good and seem fun and don't worry on other stuff that just looks cool but isn't you. Find a way to take the things that ARE you and maximize those into your findom persona. your persona cant be something besides YOU, it has to be the BEST VERSION of the REAL you. The guys can smell insincerity in a heartbeat. So whatever your persona is, it has to be the real you or wont play well. Which is good news really, as being ourselves is easier than not.
Also it can take a while for you to get some momentum in this scene. The boys tend to pay the dommes they feel are sincere or who they feel really love controlling boys. The Dommes who really love it stick around no matter what-whether they make money a lot or not, because they're into the fun, not the money. This ends up showing through and in the long run they get paid more because of it. Also some boys wont pay Dommes UNTIL they have been around a while, because they know a lot drop out early on. they worry they will invest their efforts in a Domme who ultimately leaves findom for greener pastures or vanilla life. So hang in there. longevity+effort= success.
***************HOPE YOU ENJOYED A PEEK INTO MY WORLD*********************************